Day 5
Today I read a passage from Valarie’ Kaur’s See No Stanger. The passage recounted Kaur’s connection with rage. The connection was spiritual and physical. She connected with the Hindu goddess Kali and danced. She danced and pounded the earth and spun at the shore of the ocean. The rage, from all the times she was not given a safe space to be her. All the times her body was abused by another human not knowing what to do with their own feeling of helplessness. Her own body had started to shut down, to lock itself up tight to keep her safe. Then she was given a tool, a life line. Own her rage and find a safe container to allow it to move through her. So she danced. And danced and spun and moved to the edge of the earth; this is how she came back to herself. She allowed her body to release all that it had absorbed. She came home to herself by allowing and moving through her rage.
Ancestors stand with me. Angels and ancestors, Spirit and guides. They stand with me.
We stand together in joy and pain
And healing
We stand together in love
In trauma that causes hate
And in rage that is brought by love
We stand together as conduits for one another.
We stand together
When you feel safe, reach out your hand
I will rage and love with you.
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Day 6
The sun is shining today. The air feels warmer than yesterday. There are so many directions I could go with my writing today. The joy of birthdays that were celebrated over the last two days, my best friend and my brother in law. The connection that I found with my oldest child as I bore witness to her process of owning her heart’s desire. Allowing herself to feel sadness that at the moment, it feels far away. At the same time releasing what she does not want. I walked with her and enjoyed the connection. I snuggled with my four year old and absorbed his budding intellect. I witnessed my 13 year old softening within herself to be present and allow a calm that she gifts herself with once in a while.
I notice now that my direction today is noticing and appreciation for the many dimensions of my life.
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Day 7
Movement happened today, so much movement. Movement allowed me to connect with myself and connect with others. The thoughts slid through my brain and became feelings in my body. Or maybe, it was the other way around. My body sensed what felt right, what felt light in my body and then that feeling was translated into a thought. That feels right. I walked and got the hit. My body lit up and I shared what the hit was. It was not about me. It was a curiosity about what was going to come next. Feel, think, say and wait for what was next. A conversation with an old friend that opened up new pathways for both of us. We met at an intersection and found a new fork in the road that didn’t exist before that moment of collaboration between us.
