Parenting. 17 pounds. Fear.
You know when you stop life (kinda) for two or three days either because you were at a conference or training or super focused on a project? Then, you come back to life a little (or a lot) disorientated? You come back changed from the experience and what you learned about yourself. The day is going by and you kind of feel like you are watching it happen. Your brain is both trying to take in the present information and process through all that it took in over the last few days.
That is me this week.
I was at a training this weekend. I ripped off some emotional band aids around me as a mother, the weight I have gained over the last 6 months, the fear I have been feeling as an entrepreneur over the last 6 months. It was all there under the surface waiting to come out.
A few months back I wrote a post about awareness and how you can resist dealing with the stuff until it gets more uncomfortable to not deal with it. I am there.
I processed, I cried, I stayed in the room. My brain was on overdrive.
And it still kind of is.
In the past when I have come back from such an experience I have worked REALLY hard to refocus. To get a handle on all the things that were on hold. Start checking off boxes. Essentially, get busy again and distract myself.
This time, I decided to come back and stay in the space of awareness. This mean staying uncomfortable. And choosing my thoughts. Stay with me.
What?! Choosing my thoughts?!
Now I want to move past the the parenting insecurities. I want to not stress over the 17 pounds. I want my fear to fade.
The only way to do that is be aware of thoughts and feelings and choosing thoughts that serve me.
Parenting insecurities. My new thought is that “I am the fabulous mother I know how to be.”
Those 17 pounds. “This body can and has done amazing things.”
The fear. “I love being a vehicle for awareness and being with others in our shared humanity.”
Thanks for sharing your humanity and allowing me to share mine.