I survived (and the family did too) the first week of a transition. Victory! In this case the transition was going back to school, but I realized that the steps I took, really the thoughts i had, to aid in getting through the week can be applied to most any time in life when transition is happening.
In really started with the epiphany I shared last week. Getting myself out of avoidance into awareness was key to the past week’s success. Once I got myself out of avoidance I realized some things i do to put myself into avoidance in the first place.
- I start asking myself “how” and demand that I come up with a brilliant plan that will be with me forever and solve for world peace.
- The sentence above probably clued you into the other piece of the avoidance formula, perfectionism. If it isn’t going to be exactly right the first time, the why do it? To add to that, perfectionism creates a lot of anxiety in me and in middle schooler. It just doesn’t serve us.
- So let’s just avoid the darn thing!
If I am not avoiding or looking for perfection and creating anxiety, my other option was to be aware and be present… with patience. This was a stop the presses kind of shift for me. What resulted was an awareness and acceptance of the week to come. Our bodies were all going to be adjusting to new bedtimes and wake up times. We wold be eating at different times. The kids would be required to concentrate and regulate for longer periods of time. What I decided would serve me was presence and patience not perfectionism.
i shared these intentional thoughts with some friends who were lamenting about the struggles of the week. I shared my thought of “It is what it is and by Thursday we are all going to be in pain, and that’s okay. We will get to the other side.” As I said it, you could see the weight being lifted off their shoulders. The all took a breath. From our conversation I could surmise they had been spending their energy in perfectionism, beating themselves up thinking they should have been working on the schedule weeks ago and weren’t there yet. It had not occurred to them to accept and be present in the transition week. To give themselves grace.
What resulted in all of this was that I was kinder to myself and my family. This made for a smoother week for all. The kid had patience with themselves too, And we actually were not in pain by Thursday.
Onward we go…to A Life All In.
Jennifer
