I finish my kid’s laundry so it is put away the “right” way. I clean-up after my husband when he has cleaned the kitchen. I have taken on entire projects myself because I wanted to make sure it was done correctly.
I have also taken control and taken responsibility to keep others from being hurt. i have taken control when I thought doing so would make things easier for everyone. I have taken control when I thought it would save someone from feeling discomfort; someone else or myself.
I have taken lots of control and I have learned something – I actually don’t want to be in control.
There you go, I said it. Being n control actually depletes me. It takes my energy as I effort to make something happen.
I didn’t realize this until someone asked me; do you enjoy being in comtrol?
I surprised myself by how quickly I said “no.”
It was as if my whole body was screaming out. This was my chance to be honest, to explore another way of being. I don’t actually want control, it depletes my energy. It makes me feel smaller. It is a means to an end. It actually makes me resentful and frustrated.
It is not how I enjoy working; not how I am meant to be.
For me, control comes from fear. Fear of not being able to handle the “what if.” Control comes from my needing to make everything okay. Control brings a sense of safety. You know what to expect because you are making it happen.
I invite you to explore where your control comes from and what it does for you. Does it energize or deplete you?
I am exploring control and seeing where it leads. Ironic isn’t it?
All part of A Life All In!
Best-
Jennifer
P.S. The WELL is starting soon. Are you looking for more true connection and awareness? Yearning for a space to get out of your head and release? Check out The WELL: Women Engaged In Life.
