I just caught myself “shoulding” on myself.
Letting go of the “should” is one of the pillars of my coaching practice.
And I just did it to myself.
Hypocrite.
Well, let’s hang on a minute before we start name calling, self.
Let’s look at this.
Brain, what does “should” mean?
should
verb
- 1.
used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness, typically when criticizing someone’s actions.
“he should have been careful” - 2.
used to indicate what is probable.
“$348 million should be enough to buy him out”
It is the first definition that makes me cringe. Duty. Obligation. Correctness.
Spirit, go!
One of my rallying cries is to let go of the “should’ motivation and see what moves you. Let go of the “I should because that is what a typically functioning, socially aware, etiquette abiding human does.” or “I should because someone who is smart told me to and therefore it will elevate me as human.”
But does it stir you? Does it excite you? Does it turn on a lightbulb or make butterflies flutter in your belly?
Does it scare you, make you shake in your boots as you stand in your truth, a little raw to the world?
There is a place you can go where your action and non-action come from a place of curiosity, creativity and expression.
Insight + Act.
I caught myself “shoulding” on myself. Trying to get myself to do something that I have some big blocks around. Something where the messages of “not-enoughness” still reign. Something that my thoughts and spirit are not in alignment on. Something where my default programming is still in charge. The default programming that I have identified is no longer serving me.
In this situation, shoulding brings shame that I haven’t just figured it out already.
Yep, there is that story fighting for its life. There is that identity that my brain is holding onto because it is comfortable. Not at all helpful, but comfortable.
Rise above the “should.” Observe the not-enoughness. Observe the victim in me saying “but i won’t get anymore. I have to hold onto it because there isn’t enough for everyone and I won’t get anymore.”
Observe with my thoughts.
Feel it in my body. My shoulder hunching. My breath shortening.
Insight + Act.
Take a deep breath and tune into the energy. That is the tool given to us from the universe. Tune into the energy.
I am learning. I am doing. I am feeling. I am being.
Insight + Act
Be. Listen. Create.
Amen.
