The last two weeks I have been afraid and have had anxiety about being afraid. To be honest, I am still afraid.
And the last two weeks I spent a lot of time resisting being afraid. I spent a lot of energy resisting being afraid.
It was NOT serving me.
I was not showing up for myself. I would get myself to shift perspective enough to talk to and coach clients. And I did a hell of a job. Actively listening, intuitive listening is my jam and clients were gaining awareness and shifting. The whole time I was avoiding my own emotion and that was exhausting. I was not responding to texts. I was not initiating conversation.
I was doing all the laundry. I was tidying constantly. I was binge watching make-up tutorials.
I knew that I needed to get to the next level in order to actually be the human being I want to be. The mom, sister, friend, wife, daughter, coach i want to be and that I am. I needed to get back to loving life, not being afraid of it. I needed to get to a place that allowed me to show up and have energy regardless of my feelings. I wanted it.
The next level? Allowing feeling.
Not hiding from feelings, not talking myself out of a feeling, But, saying hello to it, embracing it. Understanding it, befriending it. Sitting with it, intentionally.
It was next level. It is next level.
It is taking “feel the fear and do it anyway” to a whole new level.
Showing up even in fear.
What did it take? Looking at my feelings and the thoughts causing them. Really, honestly looking at them. When I felt my heart racing and my lips go numb (my tell-tale sign of anxiety from resisting) I stopped and asked myself two questions:
- What is happening in my physical space right now (am I om sensory overload)?
- What thought am I having right now and what feeling is it causing?
Then, actually looking at the feeling, sometimes it was the word, sometimes it was a color. Then holding it and breathing. We existed together. I coached myself and I got coached on it.
This gave me a new insight. Embracing that the thoughts and feelings don’t define me but are a part of me.
Feelings are part of being human and if I want to feel joy, well there is sadness and with excitement comes fear. Embracing it all is human and allows you as a human to embrace yourself and your unique skills while also getting angry, sad, mad.
What would you be able to do if you could sit/stand/be in any feeling?
Here is to feeling and being beautifully human.
To the Next Level of A Life All In,
Jennifer
P.S. Want to engage in this powerful process so that you can show up for it all, too. Contact me for a consult.
P.P.S. Ready to befriend what you have been avoiding and get your power back? Contact me for a consult.
