Two days ago I uttered words that that have never left my lips before. I shocked myself. Like, I almost turned around to see who was talking with my voice.
“I want to get out of my head.”
Now to be clear, I love my brain. I love having awareness of my thoughts and taking action. I love creating. I LOVE external processing.
I spend a lot of time in my head. Analyzing. Creating. Second Guessing. Arguing with Myself. Planning. Replaying. Visioning. Seeking Control. Looking for the Answer. These are all things that the human brain does. And I am grateful for it all.
But something happened. About four weeks ago, COVID-19 hit the city where I live and I got anxious, I became afraid. Like so many others i became really afraid.
I have been afraid before. I have been afraid lots of times before. The difference is that recently i identified a pattern in myself. When fear arrived I collapsed in on myself and then did all I could to avoid it until the circumstances making me afraid went away. I hid.
Hiding no longer serves me. It does not serve me as a coach. It does not serve me as a mom. It does not serve me as a friend. It does not serve me. It does not serve the person I feel called to be now.
How about you my friend? When things get scary, where do you go? How do you (or don’t you) show-up?
This virus isn’t going away. I realized I would be hiding for a very long time, too long for me. So I felt a tug, a call to look at the fear. To explore the fear. I noticed where it lives in my body. I blogged about the experience recently.
Back to the “I want to get out of my head” moment. The follow-up question was “What of I listened more?” What if not only did I make friends with fear, what if I listened, not analyzed, but listened? What if I went beyond seeing the fear and rationalizing the fear? In that listening I would also discover a new role of fear.
Fear can keep you from taking action; fear can also be the reason we take action.
“I am afraid I am not good enough so I will buy/take/do.”
“I m afraid of being rejected so I will go along.”
“I am afraid of having my feelings hurt so I won’t take the action.”
I have had all the thoughts. We are human.
Listening is the next piece of the equatuon.
There is making decisions from fear that keeps us alive for sure.
There are also decisions from fear that keep us from living.
How do you want to live? How would thinking AND listening serve you?
With you living a life all in,
Jennifer
